Waiting on Letters From Home

Ok, I don't live in Chicago and I'm not deployed, but getting letters from friends in boot camp (and sending them) is pretty awesome. I've now gotten 3 from Theo and I've only sent her 1! So to up the ante, I wrote two separate letters and am mailing them together! I don't know if she'll get them in time for graduation or not (this Friday I think), but either way she'll get them eventually and when she does she'll love them. I love her letters because I can see how she's changed since being in the Navy and how she's still the same person all rolled into one. She wrote a little bit about boot camp, but since my brother went through I know what's going on and she was tired of talking about it anyway so I got to hear about other stuff that's going on. She brings up some really interesting points about not "standing out" because getting noticed typically gets you the kind of attention you don't want.

She's having a difficult time reconciling her upbringing of "it doesn't matter what you look like", "don't judge people by how they look", "don't worry about what other people think of you, be yourself" with this Navy (and probably all military branches) attitude of joining the ranks and becoming part of the masses. No individualism. No standing out. Just complete assimilation. She knew that assimilation to Navy life is part of the deal you make, but she doesn't want to betray herself or the parts of her identity associated with being unique. I hope whenever she does get my response she can find it somewhat comforting. I think you can be yourself while still putting things aside to get the job done. I think in a survival situation, whether it's literally life-and-death or just working to put food on the table, everyone can agree that you do what you need to in order to get through the day. It's not a betrayal of self if you're doing something you don't normally agree with. I tell my students all the time, "You aren't required to like it, but you are required to do it" and I think the same goes for things like being in a situation that you aren't normally put in. So even if you don't 100% agree with what's going on, if it's to get a job done, if it's to accomplish something for the greater good--even if it's just your greater good like completing boot camp or A-school--you don't have to like it, you just do it. There's something really liberating in knowing that you aren't required to like what you're doing or what's going on. Granted, if you're stuck in the same rut you were in 10 years ago, I could see that getting old and this advice not really working, but for getting through obstacles immediately in front of you, it totally feels good to remember that you just have to do it, not like it.