Decisions I Hope Never to Make

There's been discussions in my online mommy group about everything under the sun. Some discussions are personal while others are lighthearted and fun. One of the most recent is whether or not we (anyone in the group) will be having more kids. Having 2 kids under the age of two, it's easy for me to see the side of those who are happy with the size of their family and are done having kids. It's easy for me to understand the appeal of no more interrupted nights, no more diapers, and no more tantrums. I can absolutely understand the desire to move into the next phase without looking back except to say, "Remember when...?" I've seen the struggle that can go with making such a permanent decision, I appreciate the difficulty and the emotions that go with it.

But that struggle is not for me, at least not willingly. In high school I would have told you (and I did tell several people) that I wanted 12 kids. I don't really have a number any more, but I can tell you that we're not done having kids. I've always wanted to adopt so that will hopefully happen somewhere down the line. Our answer when people ask us how many kids we want is "As many as God gives us". After Joey was born, and all the nonsense with the surgery afterwards, I cherished every moment of his babyhood and squishy-ness because I didn't know when or if I would be blessed with another baby. When I found out I was pregnant with Noah I was so happy and relieved. Since he's been here, I've made sure to enjoy as much as I could. The quiet moments spent nursing at night, baths in the baby tub that Joey has been too big to use for a while now, even diaper changes have positives (Noah doesn't fight and try to run away...yet). I don't know when the next baby will bless us, so in the meantime I'm trying to enjoy everything as though he's my last. If, for whatever reason, we are only blessed with two kids, I don't want to miss anything because my mindset was "Oh we'll have more, it's ok." I'd like to say for sure that we'll have more, I would love more, but I don't know what God has planned for us and frankly, I'm kind of relieved to have left that decision up to Him. If I were to decide that we were done, I would always wonder if it was the right decision or if we were missing out on another blessing. By leaving it up to God, I don't have to wonder, I can just go about my day, comforted knowing that I'm going along with His plan.

I'm not a bystander though, definitely not. Dan and I haves prayed and decided that we'd like at least a couple years before the next baby. Especially because we know now that being pregnant causes my milk supply to tank. It's my goal for each baby to breast feed and delay solids for as close to a year as we can get due to my food allergies and the higher risk of my kids acquiring similar allergies. I look forward to meeting our next baby but I also look forward to a break from being pregnant and watching my boys grow.

Allons-y: A DC Yarn Adventure

Lyndsay with her awesome new yarn + bag!

Allons-y = French for "Let's go" and favorite phrase of my favorite Doctor (#10, played by David Tennant). Also technically, we were in Alexandria, VA and not DC but we used the DC Metro and were mere miles away from our Nation's Capitol, so basically DC (plus "VA Yarn Adventure" does not sound as epic). I found out several months ago that a somewhat local yarn store was one of the flagship stores selling a particular brand of American yarn that Lyndsay likes by a designer that we both like. We discussed the idea of a faux knit-along where we both knit patterns of his with his yarn. Further contemplation on my part determined that it would be possible to travel the 1+ hour trip via public transportation and thus not keep the barely-one-month-old Noah in a car seat for prolonged periods of time. And so the trip was planned! My Christmas present to Lyndsay would be her tickets on said public transportation (as well as yummy lunch at 5 Guys across the street from the shop) so that all she would have to pay for was yarn. She got me some absolutely delicious sock yarn (I imagine because she remembered prior conversations about my desire to actually knit a pair of socks) that I need to take pictures of because it is a stunning shade of "Jeanne Pink" and should match my hat and mittens quite well!

My new yarn + bag!

As it would turn out, unpaid maternity leave is not conducive to buying massive amounts of yarn for large projects that are not Christmas presents for anyone but myself, thus my purchase for our faux knit-along would have to wait until another day. I did have it in the budget for some chunky yarn for a shawl that's knit with large needles for a more instant-gratification project (and that's coming along nicely, again pictures are forthcoming). I purchased two hanks, which turned out to be a good thing, because the initial yarn I was planning on buying was not in stock. My cardigan has waited this long (it was seriously summer the last time I worked on it) so it can stand to wait a while longer. The trip ended up being way longer than I had planned for, and I felt guilty for taking Lyndsay away from her family for so long, but the yarn store was amazing and completely worth the trip! Next time, though, we'll be driving. Despite the distance, Fibre Space is way better than my local yarn store (only about 15min from my house and less than 10in from work) both in selection of yarn and stock.

2012

I'm a day late with my annual New Year 's Eve post, but close enough right?

This time last year:

-Joey wasn't walking or talking

-I wasn't even pregnant with Noah yet

-I was still working part time

-I tackled my first big lace project (ended up finishing it on my birthday)


This past year:

-I have a toddler AND a 6-week-old

-Joey is walking and talking, he has a sense of humor and points out things he sees

-Noah is awake for longer periods and is starting social smiles

-We got a dog and she'll be back living with us sometime after I go back to work

-I'm back to full time with a salary and vacation/sick days

-We lost a dear friend from church but rejoice that she's no longer in pain and can watch over us


We had such a great year and I'm so thankful for our family and friends. The love and support has been a wonderful blessing, I don't know where we would be without it! I can't wait to see what 2013 brings for us, Happy New Year!